Wrigley Becomes the 100 Year Old Virgin

As a Chicago Cubs fan it is difficult to pinpoint the most depressing thing that has happened in the past 100 years. It is even difficult to nail the most depressing thing in my 21 years as a fan. The 2003 disaster will always have a dark, joyless part in my heart. 2007 and 2008 were equally gut-wrenching. But the 100 year anniversary of Wrigley Field is by far the most depressing thing to happen since the team got bad again.

“But it’s a celebration of this historic building and there’s no better place to watch a game and Wrigleyville is so great!” You want to know what all of this narrative is missing? Wins. Meaningful, ring-wearing, trophy-raising wins. The team will focus on the greatness of the building. Many sentimental fans will “oo” and “ah” over the romance of the park. For me this is a reminder of the futility of my endeavor as a Cubs fan. It is a reminder that people have LIVED AND DIED without seeing the Cubs win a World Series title. It is a reminder that I am in the longest running abusive relationship this country has ever seen.

Want to know the sickest part? I couldn’t imagine it any other way. The Cubs have made it impossible for me to be disappointed in a sports team because the North-siders have disappointed me in every possible manner. So I’ll keep coming back and drink Old Style until I don’t care that my team stinks because, as George Will said last night, I’m afraid that as soon as I give up on them they’ll start winning.

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